I just received an email. I am beyond ecstatic.
I have been dreaming of training with John in Japan since I studied with him in Maui last year. I had actually tried to go as an assistant by offering to be a gopher and translator but my help was not needed.
I was a little disappointed but I was so interested in hearing the practice languaged in Japanese and meeting the Japanese kula so I applied for the teacher training component. Unfortunately, after the applications were in, they posted the training price- it was more than double the price of training in North America. I was floored. How was I going to afford this training?
I ended up swallowing my pride and doing something I have never done before- applying for a scholarship. I have always been able to pay for my training before, but now I realized that I needed some help. Off went the letters and my hours etc. and I left the rest up to the universe. Then during this whole period something else happened- I found a lump in my breast.
My mother is a breast cancer survivor. I assumed this was nothing more than a milk duct or something but after a mammogram things got very serious, very quickly. I had an ultrasound and was then booked for a biopsy. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so panicky but the radiologist said cancer so many times during the tests that it beat like a little drum in the back of my mind.
I sat for two weeks wondering if I had cancer. How would my family manage? How would it affect my yoga? Would I be disfigured? How would chemo affect my body? I wasn’t scared- as in the freaking out, pull your hair out kind of scared- but more scared in a heaviness in the pit of my stomach which would sometimes bubble to the surface in a little gasp. The bubble sometimes brought a tightening of the face and reigning in of tears that threatened to fall. I kept it together though- mostly. My kula and my family made me feel that I was not alone- no matter what I was supported.
I decided that if it was cancer I would go to Japan with or without a scholarship and deal with the disease when I returned. That is when I realized how important this was to me- to be able to bring the two passions in my life together- Japan and Yoga.
Last week I found out the lump was benign. Today I found out I received a scholarship.
Om namah shivaya
I am so blessed.