That was my realization yesterday as I sat in the Vancouver International airport- yoga should not be stressful. I had planned to train with John Friend in Kyoto and Tokyo for 11 days- the first three in Kyoto- since last year some time. I am a planner- ask my friends and family. I am not the “leave everything to the last minute” type of person. Not that I am not spontaneous – I love surprises! ( as long as I have my credit card and the right shoes).
I arrived home from Maui with family in tow at 3 am Monday. Slept part of Tuesday and then washed clothes, cleaned house and bought groceries. I go to work Thursday. Flew to Narita for work and arrived home Saturday to a home sans husband. He had flown out that morning to Las Vegas. ( yes- I know- we are both insane!) Running all over town in my uniform, I bought more food, did banking, got medicine and other last minute things for my trip to Japan. I picked up the kids and headed home to a full day of sleepless packing ( I had already gone close to 20 hours by now with no sleep) and fun things like a movie and painting toe nails with my daughter. I wanted my last night with my kids to be family time.
Sadly, I arrived home to a blind pussycat. Old, sick and dying of cancer, my poor pussycat of 16 years had rapidly gone down hill in a few days. We bundled her up and took her to the vet to wait 2 hours to see a doctor. I knew what was coming but I kept hoping I was wrong. I was right.
We said goodbye to our pussycat Ashita amid wailing and tears as my 10 and 6 year old hugged and held her. I made them leave the room while she was put to sleep but I buried my face in her beautiful fur one last time and cried my heart out while they were not in the room. Death is an inevitable part of life- pets teach our children how to grieve so that when they lose a person there is something to guide them. I brought them back in the room after she had passed . I remember how seeing my dad after he had passed away made me feel somehow better about death- to see how peaceful it could be. My son said it was the worst day of his 10 year old life. It probably was.
So after that day ( and night) of tears and sleeplessness, I awoke to head to Japan. Exhausted both emotionally and physically, I just wanted to get on the plane and sleep. Though I was pretty sure I would have a seat on the flight things can always change when you fly standby and wouldn’t you know it- it changed. Another flight to Asia was over sold and they moved all the passengers to my flight and suddenly no more seats! I always have anxiety when I fly on my pass but now I just felt plain sick. I wasn’t going anywhere. It felt like a little too much.
I drove home in a daze to two happy children- good thing. I took them out for dinner and spent time with them- good thing. I managed to get another backup ticket for the domestic flight to Kyoto- good thing. I found two shirts on the floor I forgot to pack- good thing. I talked to my friends- good thing. I realized around 8pm that this was not a big deal. I was going to Japan for a yoga training – this was not a medical emergency or something serious- this was supposed to be fun- not stressful. As soon as I sat with that for a few minutes everything changed.I was on an adventure- I would get there eventually and think of all the stories to tell! There are no bad flights, I always say, just better stories. The cup went back to half full and suddenly everything felt better. We always have a choice- I forgot about that. I chose the light, I chose to see the good. And I am sitting waiting , hoping to get on the flight once again…who knows what will happen? Whatever it is it will be good.
Aum shri ganesha namah – mantra to Lord Ganesha who helps travelers